What Shadows May Come
by grayskies29
Summary: This is the sequel to The Many Ways of Love. We pick up just after the wedding and follow Neil and Christy on their journey of new life together.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Christy. They belong to the Marshall/LeSourd family. I may borrow elements from the book, tv series, and movies. Any resembleance to other fan ficitons is entirely coincidental. I do not seek profit for my work.

A/N: Here's the start. I know it's slow but give it time, it will get better.

Chapter One

I sat straight up in bed, gasping for breath. The dream had been so real this time. The stench emanating from the fog was so real and this time it was accompanied by screams, bone -chilling screams. I clutched the bedclothes close to my chest and tried to regain my bearings. Where was I? Sunlight was filtering through the curtains, but nothing looked familiar. Except for the dress draped over the foot of the bed. Then I remembered. Today was my first morning as Mrs. MacNeill. I turned my head to the slumbering form beside me and watched the covers rise and fall to the rhythm of his breathing. Despite the warmness of the morning, my new husband was wrapped tightly in the bedclothes with only his face and the top of head visible. I smiled down at him and slipped deeper down into the feather bed and curled my body close to his. Only then did my husband wake.

"What has you awake so early dear heart of mine?"

"I had a bad dream. And by the sun coming in through the window, it isn't early anymore." I sighed and snuggled my head against his bare chest, twining my fingers in the thatch of sandy curls. He brought his arm around me, cradling me to him. There in his arms I felt safe.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"About what?" I asked Neil drowsily. The comfort of his nearness made me grow sleepy again.

"Your dream."

"It's nothing, really. Just a dream I've been having off and on for sometime."

"Anything that disturbs my lovely wife's sleep is a serious concern to me."

I recounted my dream to Neil including the strange, choking fog and the horrifying screams. I mentioned to him that the dream started about the time news reports from Europe spoke of war.

"Love, the war's in Europe, many thousands of miles from Cutter Gap. It won't bother with us here."

I smiled at Neil. "You're right. Nothing for me to worry about." Despite my words, I remained unconvinced.

Neil rolled over to face me, propped up on an elbow. He was not convinced by my words either. I could never hide my true soul from him. His eyes always found the answer in mine. As he stared deep into my eyes, I felt my pulse quicken.

"I want you to know Christy, that no matter what shadows may come into our lives, I will stand fast by your side."

"I have no doubt you will. I wouldn't have married you yesterday had I thought otherwise."

"And tell me again, why did you decided to marry me?"

"Neil, you know already."

"But I like to hear it."

"I love the way you care for your patients. I love the way you challenge me. I love how devoted you are to your work and me. I love you with everything inside of me. I love you so much that I honestly have trouble recalling times when I did not. Oh, and it doesn't hurt that you are handsome."

"I knew there was another reason." Neil chuckled heartily as he leaned down for a kiss. I pulled away reluctantly a few moments later. I didn't want to appear forward like I had the night before.

"You must be hungry. I'll go and make us something to eat." I moved to the edge of the bed.

"I am hungry but I can wait. There's another hunger that needs to be taken care of first." He pulled me back into his arms, kissing me soundly. I realized that I was hungry as well.

Later, I crept into the new kitchen and made a quick meal for us. It wasn't much, since Neil had neglected to pick up the staples for us. I made due with some bacon and there did happen to be a few eggs and potatoes. Though it was hours late for breakfast, I presented my husband with scrambled eggs, bacon and diced potatoes.

Neil raised his eyebrows as I carried the plate into our bedroom.

"Are you always going to serve breakfast in bed?"

"No, just today. And it's only breakfast because there isn't a lot of staples for anything else in that nice new kitchen."

"Sorry about that. I'm so used to being alone here, I often run out of things and forget to pick them up whenever I get into El Pano."

"You're in luck. Tomorrow we get to see my family off at the station."

"I didn't realize they were leaving so soon."

"Yes, they didn't want to interrupt our 'honeymoon'. I think they said they will be stopping by with our gifts later this afternoon."

"Well then my love, let's eat up and make ourselves presentable before our guests arrive."

Neil's suggestion was perfectly timed. Had we delayed another minute, Mother would have been more mortified than she was the night before. Mother had barely recovered from Bird's Eye's explanation of a mountain wedding. I could tell she was slightly embarrassed as she entered our cabin. Whenever she met my eye contact, she lowered her eyes and a faint pink crept to her cheeks.

Father had borrowed the mission wagon to haul the rest of my things from the mission to my new home along with several wedding gifts. Most of the gifts were from family and friends I once knew in Asheville. Though quite lovely, most were not practical like the sterling flatware from Aunt Emily and Uncle Robert or the china tea service from Sarah Johnston. I was delighted though to see a five pound sack of cornmeal from Bob and Mary Allen, trussed up in a faded satin ribbon. Ben Pentland had given me a fresh stack of monogrammed stationary paper and he also brought a gift from Mrs. Tatum. She sent a lovely jar of strawberry preserves. Uncle Bogg had given us a nice ham and side of bacon. It was the gifts from the Cove that I treasured most. At least because of them, I could make a decent meal for my husband.

As I put the more delicate gifts into our bedroom, Mother followed to help me.

"Are you sure you can really live like one of _them_?"

"_They_ are people, mother, just not the type of people you are used to."

" Are you sure you want to live your life in poverty?"

"We wouldn't be living in poverty."

"What, pray tell, do people around here pay Neil with, chickens?"

"Yes, they do or any other food stuffs they can manage. Cash isn't necessary. Besides, Neil receives grant money for medicines and publishes his research in medical journals. We have everything we need and more. Life here is some much richer in other ways than in Asheville."

A small worried smile pulled at my mother's mouth. "A mother can worry about her only daughter, can't she?"

I hugged her to me tightly. "You can, but Neil won't let anything happen to me."

"I know darling, I know. Let's get back to your husband. Your father and I promised to have the wagon back soon."

As I hugged my parents goodbye, I thought I would have felt more homesick but perhaps that would come as I said a final goodbye tomorrow at the train station. I wished there was a way to feel closer to my family in Asheville. Well, the train ride wasn't so long perhaps I could visit more often than I had while I was teaching.

"What are you thinking about, heart?"

I turned from the open door I was standing in front of to my husband. "I was just thinking that maybe I could visit my parents more often now than I did when I was teaching."

"I suppose so but it all depends on Marcus. If he stays on until spring, then we can both go. If he leaves, I'm afraid we'll both be too busy to permit much time away from here."

"Do you think he will leave?"

"I don't think so. It seems he's quite taken with a new school teacher."

"Seems to be a common habit around here."

"Appears so. Marcus isn't the only one bitten by the love bug. I noticed George was very eager to dance with Lizette."

"I noticed too. Did Daddy say where he was today?"

"Something about helping Marcus with patient check-ups. I think he's just hanging around the clinic to see Lizette."

Neil led me through the open door onto the porch. We sat down on the long bench that Neil had gotten for us. I rested my head on his shoulder and looked out at the view from Green Ridge. I could imagine a more lovely spot for a cabin. I wondered if one of Neil's ancestors had though the same thing when they settled here. I supposed that the scenery had little changed from their time to ours.

"Neil do you think things will change here in time?"

"I suppose so. I've seen a great deal of changes since I was a child. There more store-bought items, like clothing. When I was little many women still spun and wove. Now most don't have time for it and the sheep are expensive to care for if you don't have the right land for grazing. The lumber companies get a little touchy when animals are wandering on their property. When you need store bought items you need cash. Money makes men do some foolish things."

"Like moon shining?"

"Yes, and other things like selling their land to lumber companies so they can move to the city and live in equally squalid conditions. Until now there hasn't been an alternative for them. Now, there's a school here, so there is hope."

"A school is all it takes to end poverty?"

"Yes and no. A solution to end poverty isn't as simple as that,but it's a start. A school can open doors like it did for me. I wouldn't have gotten far if it wasn't for those that helped financially. You see, being smart and poor can actual shut that door that just opened. You have gained access to moving up in the world but because there's no money, you get stuck."

I lifted my head from Neil's shoulder. A plan was forming in my mind. I slipped off the bench and into the cabin to the new stack of stationary paper. Neil followed after me.

"What are you thinking of?"

"Mm, I tell you later. I want to write a letter."

"That's what I love about you. Always thinking of ways to help someone in need. You've got such heart." His breath tickled the back of my ears as he leaned down and gently kissed the nape of my neck. "Can it wait?"

"Neil!"

He didn't answer but continued to kiss my neck.

"Neil, what will people think of of us if we spend all of our time in bed?"

"No one around here would care. There's nothing to be embarrassed about and I don't expect we'll be getting a lot of visitors the next few days anyway." He went back to kissing me. I jotted my idea down and turned my face to meet Neil's.

"It can wait." I kissed his lips passionately.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Christy. The rights belong to the Marshall-LeSourd family. This story borrows from the tv series, novel and Pax movies. I seek no profit and this is for entertainment.

Chapter 2

The next morning I got out of bed before Neil. I wanted to write out my thoughts from yesterday without interruption. On our way to El Pano, I would bring up the idea to my parents to see if they might be able to get supporters in Asheville. I had a feeling that they would get a number of people willing to help on this idea. Perhaps, I could write a letter or two to some colleges in the area to see if they could lend some support. I made a list of colleges that might be possibilities. The metal nib of the pen scratched hastily across the paper as I made my list. First and foremost was Flora College, which I had attended for a year and a half, and where did Miss Alice say John Spencer was going to college? I'd find out later. I looked down at the paper with a sense of pride in my idea. I folded it up and placed it at the end of table so I could pick it up on our way out. I returned to the bedroom to wake my husband up so we could leave.

I watched from the porch as Neil saddled Charlie. Charlie was a fine and loyal horse but having just one was not feasible for two traveling people.

"Neil, when do you think we can get another horse?"

He looked up at me in mock astonishment. "You mean you don't like traveling with me?"

"I love to, most of the time, but it's not the most comfortable."

"We'll see what we can do in El Pano today. You won't be riding behind me the whole fourteen miles round with me today on Charlie's back. Just to the mission and back. We are taking the mission's wagon?"

"Oh the stuff that Mother brought with her would not get down on a single horse. We're lucky that it will fit into one wagon."

"Are you ready then, dear heart?"

"Absolutely." I ducked in the door and grabbed my note. I pulled the door shut and bounded down the stairs to meet my husband. I gave him my hand and swung lightly onto the cloth placed behind the saddle. I clung to his waist as he nudged Charlie into a free swinging trot. I rested my cheek on the Neil's back and closed my eyes, savoring the moment. Neil was my husband. My husband! I had imagined what my future husband would look like ever since I was a young girl. Neil did not fit the profile of my childish mind but it just goes to show that life is something that simply refuses to be planned and neatly laid out. I was happy my life had not gone according to my young mind's plan.

When we had finally my parents' and George's trunks packed into the wagon, we said our goodbyes to Miss Alice and Pastor James. George looked stricken at the prospect of leaving without seeing Lizette Holcombe. Neil could not resist the urge to take a peak at what was going on at the clinic. Marcus nearly threw him back out the door.

"Dr. MacNeill, things are perfectly in control. Now get out of here and I don't want to see hide nor hair of ye until Monday morning! Mrs. MacNeill, you'd better keep your husband in line and remind him he's on his honeymoon."

"Certainly, Mr. Black." I laughed to see Marcus shaking his fist in mock fury in our direction. He always hated it when I called him Mr. Black instead of Dr.

Finally, everyone was ready to head down to El Pano. As we pulled out of the mission yard, I glanced over my shoulder to look at Miss Alice and Pastor James. From a distance one could get the impression that they were a happily married couple and had been that way for many years. I hoped that by her catching my bouquet, it was a sign of things to come. I smiled happily to myself. Love abounded for certain in this part of the world.

After we had passed the rougher part of the trail, I brought up my newborn idea. Mother still had a white-knuckled grip on the wagon's side but Father and George looked like they hadn't had this much excitement in sometime.

"I had the most wonderful idea yesterday after you left. I thought it would be nice if someone started a standing fund for a scholarship for students graduating from the Cutter Gap school. Daddy do you think you know anyone who would be willing to help out?" I handed him the list I had made and told him of the colleges I was considering to include in my letter writing campaign.

"Well Girlie, I think the Bruce Thompson who is bank president at Asheville National would be more than interested. Besides he owes me a favor. That's just one of many I can think of for the time being. Just let me know the particulars later on."

Much to my confusion, my husband was silent about my idea. I didn't say anything at first but I thought he would be excited by the prospect. I was disappointed that he wasn't running over with excitement at my idea. Then again, Neil wasn't that sort of person. I brushed aside my slight disappointment.

We arrived at the station just in time to unload everything on the platform. Within the next couple of minutes, the train arrived with great huffs, puffs and billowing clouds of steam. Tears stung my eyes as I said goodbye to my parents and George. They promised to write often as did I. I hoped I would see them soon, now that I wasn't teaching. I felt heartbroken as they boarded the train. I knew my responsibility was to my husband now but I still felt torn between my new life in Cutter Gap and my family in Asheville. I choked back my tears and waved goodbye as the train chuffed its way through the mountain passes back to Asheville. I stared after it until it was out of sight. When I was certain I could keep my eyes from shedding tears, did I turn around to find my husband waiting by the wagon. To keep my mind off of my momentary homesickness, I started up a conversation about my scholarship idea.

"You do like my idea, don't you?"

"No, not particularly. Why didn't you say something to me first?"

"I wanted to tell you all at the same time. Why don't you like it?"

"Because it's charity and you know that doesn't work around here."

"A scholarship is not charity, Neil. It's award by merit. A person earns it by hard work."

"I know that but it will still be seen as charity."

"Well you accepted help for your schooling."

"I did and after much argument from my family too. It nearly killed my Pa for me to take some other man's hand outs. Made it seem like he couldn't provide for his family."

"But because of you, everybody can see a higher education is a good thing."

I stopped talking in disbelief. We were married for just two whole days and we were having our first fight as a married couple here on the El Pano train platform. I swallowed my angry words, turned in the direction of the general store and stormed off. I blinked back my tears yet again. I was so sure that Neil would love this idea. Why I even had thought to put his surname to the scholarship. I wanted it to be called the Fairlight-MacNeill scholarship. I wanted it to be called after Fairlight because she had such a pure want for learning and after Neil because he was the first in the Cove to attend college. I turned my head to face the display window and tried my best to look interested.

Moments later, I felt his hands on my shoulders. I tried to shrug them off but they gripped tighter.

"I'm sorry love. I didn't mean to make you upset. I was just trying to say that simply awarding it to a student who has the best grades might not be enough to dispel the air of charity. Maybe you need to have a sort of competition for it."

I turned to face my husband. His hazel eyes were filled with such sorrow at having upset me they looked like the pleading eyes of a hound dog. "You mean like an essay writing competition?"

"Something of the sort. Do you forgive me?"

"I think I understand now and yes I forgive you." He bent down and kissed my lips softly.

"Now, go inside and get what you need to make our household successful and we'll go down to the livery to see about getting you a horse."

We went into the general store and got the essentials; flour, coffee, lard, and some white sugar. I didn't need many spices because I intended to gather my own herbs for seasoning which was something Fairlight had taught me. I thanked God for having the time I did with Fairlight Spencer. Though I missed her greatly, she had taught me a wealth of information in such a short time. Knowledge and love are two things that transcend death and from her I had both. Neil carried our things to the wagon while I waited for him on the planking that served as a sidewalk. As Neil returned I linked my arm through his and we walked to the livery stable.

Inside the livery the air was full of the scent of sweet hay, leather and horses. A man was bent over a workbench in the central area between the rows of stalls. He was using an awl to punch holes into a new bridle. He looked up when he heard us approaching. He laid down his tools and wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Hullo, Doc! What kin I do fer ye?" The man's exuberant greeting took me back some until I realized that my husband probably knew most of the people in this area better than Uncle Bogg knew the back of his hand.

"We're here to see about getting a new horse for my wife."

"Waal now, this a here must be Mrs. MacNeill. Howdy-do ma'am?"

"I'm well, thank you, Mr. ?"

"Elijah Farrell. The horses I's got be yan in the pasture. Go outten an take a look. See what catches the little lady's eye. I'll be with ye directly, soon as I finish up this bridle."

Mr. Farrell motioned his hand to the open back door of the stable. Neil and I went out and looked at the dozen horses in the paddock. Most of them grazed contentedly and didn't bother to raise their heads to look at us. One lifted its head immediately and moved to the edge of the fence where we stood. I had never seen a horse of that color before. The head, mane, tail and base of its legs were a beautiful mahogany shade but the rest of its body looked nearly pink from the white hairs mixed in with the mahogany color. Its eyes looked down at me were gentle and warm and the color of gingerbread.

"Looks like she likes you."

"She?"

"Pretty sure on that one, dear heart."

I let the horse nuzzle my hand affectionately until Mr. Farrell came out to us.

"Looks like ye made yer pick already."

"Is she gentle, Mr Farrell? I'm not an expert with horses."

"Rekin so. Some citified man was short on cash money the other week and had ta get back ta Kentuck in a hurry. Sold me her fer a fair price. Tole me she were part, now what'd he call it. Shucks, don't matter none. Must be part of one of them fancy racing horse, though she ain't tall. Oh, but she be real gentle. Why she hardly blinked and eye when the train whistles. She didn't even raise a fit when the Donnelly brother were arguing in the street the other day. When the Donnelly brothers get into it, shots is always fired. She didn't even snort. Shore is a purty gal. That man called her a strawberry roan."

"Does she have a name?"

"Never caught one."

"How much for her unless you think another horse might be better."

Neil and Mr. Farrell began to negotiate a price. In a short while I led the new horse to the wagon where Neil tethered her tight to the back. Surprisingly, Neil did not buy a new saddle. He said that we already had another. Neil helped me into the wagon and we made our way back home.

"So, what are you going to call her?"

"I'll have to think on it some. I want to get to know her first."

We returned the wagon to the mission and made our way back to the cabin, leading the strawberry roan behind us. The sun was slipping low behind the mountains and the air was cooling. The scent of twilight filled my nose. I leaned in close to my husband and thanked God yet again putting the desire in my heart and mind to go to Cutter Gap.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Christy belongs to the Marshall/LeSourd family. This is a work of fan fiction and is not meant for profit, only entertainment.

Chapter 3

The rest of our honeymoon went splendidly. Neil and I went for rides so I could get to know my new horse, Dawn, better. We picnicked in the afternoons and slept in during the mornings, until the sun was arching high in the sky. I could not imagine a better spot for our honeymoon. Though I knew it was common practice for newlyweds to travel abroad for their honeymoons, this was our special place, even though we made our home here. Whenever we had time to ourselves we could always visit a spot to rekindle the magic of our first week together.

Then came the bumpy transition into real life. It all began on Monday. Monday happened to be wash day and our first day back at the clinic. I made a passable breakfast for the two of us. I suspected that Neil was growing tired of eating slightly burnt johnny cakes for breakfast. He never said anything, but I could tell by the grimace he made when he thought I wasn't looking.

We rode to the clinic to give Marcus and Lizette a much deserved break. Ida and Opal were in for check-ups today. Of course before they got there Festus and Creed Allen came in for stitches. Apparently, they had been engaging in a brotherly whittling contest and ended up cutting themselves more than the wood. Neil gave Festus six stitches on his left hand and I gave Creed three on his left hand and four on his right.

"Creed, how did you manage to cut _both_ of your hands?"

"Well, I cut my left hand so I thought I'd try whittlin' with my left and holdin' the block in my right. Hit seemed like a fine idea at the time."

"Perhaps you shouldn't have a race to see who gets done first, but who does the nicest job of whittling. That way, no one needs stitches if you're careful."

"Shore thing, Mrs. MacNeill." Creed popped off the exam table and went into the waiting room to his brother. They 'settled the bill' with Neil by promising a fresh caught trout, as soon as their stitches were out next week.

I watched as they ran off in the general direction of the Allen cabin and sighed. Creed calling me "Mrs. MacNeill" was a little new yet; I was still accustomed to hearing Teacher or Miz Christy. It made me feel old at the young age of twenty-one. It would take some getting use to my married name and the tag of 'Missus'.

There wasn't a lot of time for me to contemplate my name. Ida arrived for her check up, looking more grim and sour than an expecting mother should. I wanted to ask what was bothering her but didn't have the heart or the nerve. Neil ventured to ask the dour mother-to-be what was bothering her as he checked the heartbeat of both mother and babe.

"Any complaints today, Mrs. Taylor?"

"I'm fine health wise, if that's what you're asking. The only complaint I have today is about my husband. He went off somewhere knowing full well that he was supposed to help prepare the third floor for the school boarders. Now it's just me and Sally left. I don't know what I ever saw in that scoundrel. Now I'm in a fine fix for sure."

Though her words were stinging, I could hear tears of frustration creeping in. I knew Ida sometimes doubted Bird's Eye's commitment to being a law abiding citizen and exemplary husband; she could never let go of the fear he might turn to his old ways. I didn't know how to calm her fears.

"Now Ida, I know there has to be something that made you think Michael was the man for you." Neil replied calmly as he continued his examination.

Ida sat for a minute with her thin lips pressed tightly together, resisting the tenderness of reflection. Eventually her dark eyes softened and the tension in her face eased.

"He's real tender when he wants to be and he works so hard. He loves me and no one's ever done that before."

"Well then, I'm sure he had good intentions. Everything checks out fine. Now had we figured up a due date for you? Christy, do we have it in her file?"

I leafed through Ida's file. I really had to admire Neil's way of reassuring his patients. He never seemed at a loss for words to get to the heart of a matter.

"It looks like we figured on late February or early March, Neil, uhm, Dr. McNeil.

"Thank you, Nurse MacNeill."

With an exasperated sigh, Ida slide down from the exam table. "You two needn't put on a show of professionalism for me." Straighten her shirtwaist, she huffed out the door.

I stared after her puzzled. Pregnancy really affected Ida in a strange way. I could only hope that I wouldn't have the same reaction to pregnancy, when my time came.

Later, David and Opal arrived in their new wagon. As David helped Opal down from the wagon bench, the sunlight glinted off of her glossy brown hair. Opal glowed with such an inner radiance she reminded me of her namesake. Pregnancy and marriage agreed more with Opal than Ida. At the entrance, David stopped and kissed Opal on the cheek softly.

"I'll be back in a few minutes. Bird's Eye is waiting for me to check out that chestnut tree that fell in the storm last month. I think I should be able to salvage some of it for the cradle he wants me to make for Ida." So that was what Bird's Eye was up to.

Opal turned and looked at us conspiratorially. "Shh, it's a secret. Bird's Eye don't want Ida ta know."

Sometime after Opal's examination, I hurried home to start laundry. I had wanted to be home earlier, but was delayed. I filled the big black pot with water at the pump and tried to lift it to the fire I had made. I had gotten it too full and couldn't lift it. After several minutes of dragging and pulling, I got it to the fire. I went inside to start dinner as well. I knew it would take some time before the water even got warm. Finally, the water was warm enough to wash with so I got started.

By the time Neil had gotten home, I had forgotten I started boiling ham hocks for ham and green beans. The pot in the kitchen had boiled dry and I wasn't even half way through with the laundry. Hot tears ran down my cheeks before I could will them to stop. I tried to turn away from Neil before he saw them.

"Dear heart, don't cry. I can help with the laundry and dinner's salvageable." He encircled me in his arms.

"But you shouldn't have to help me. All the other women have so much more to take care of than I. They don't need their husband's help." I sobbed into his shoulder.

"And they have a passel of children to help out too. Who do you think did my laundry when I was alone? I managed well enough, though I never bothered with ironing."

"I suppose you're right, but so far I feel like a complete failure as a wife. I can't even get breakfast right." Neil pulled me tighter to him.

"Not to me love. I married you for who you are. If I wanted a housekeeper, I could have hired someone years ago. Being a wife is more than cleaning and cooking. You're all that I need and I wouldn't change you for the world. I couldn't have asked for a better wife. Why don't we work out a schedule and ease you into work and wifedom?"

"I love you."

"As do I, dear heart. Now go inside and see if you can fix up supper and I'll finish here."

I didn't think it was possible to love Neil more than I already did but my love for him rooted deeper into my heart.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Christy belongs to the Marshall/LeSourd family. This is a work of fan fiction and is not meant for profit, only entertainment.

Chapter Four

After a few weeks, I began to feel more confidant as a wife. I was able to accomplish many of the household chores without Neil's assistance, work at the clinic and have a decent a meal ready in the evenings. It was a lot of work but I figured if the other women of the Cove could do it so could I.

The evenings were a different story. Occasionally, Neil had to attend to some emergency or another. When he was home, I had expected him to spend sometime with me like we had during our first week of marriage. I wanted to curl up beside him and watch the gradual descent of late summer into autumn from the front porch. More often than not, Neil slipped into his laboratory after dinner and I saw very little of him until bed time. I knew how much his research on trachoma meant and I didn't want to complain. My inconveniences would matter little if he found a cure for a disease that robbed sight mercilessly here. It made me feel guilty for wanting Neil's attention for myself.

I was happy that I married Neil but that feeling of wanting my life to count for more still ran strong in my blood. I was a nurse now, I reminded myself, that makes my life count for some thing. I devised a plan to send children here to college, that made a difference in the world surely. Still, I felt like I could do more to help my neighbors and friends. It just felt like there was a piece of my new life still missing. I was restless to find it.

One evening while the gentle rain of a dying thunderstorm pattered on the roof, I began to pace in front of the fire. Bluntly put, I was bored. I had spent much of the day mending clothes. Neil was rather rough on his clothing with holes worn through at the knees of his pants and the elbows of his shirts. I had tried to reinforce the pants with leather pieces but ended up stabbing my fingers and bending the needle. I made one more attempt after dinner that evening. My attempt did not last long. I jammed the needle into my thumb so hard it bled. I left my work in a heap and went to look out the open door at the rain dripping off of the leaves. I sighed. At that moment, I would have given anything for a sewing machine. I paced back to the fireplace and gazed at the glowing embers. What was wrong with me? I should be happy and content. I was married to the most wonderful man I could imagine. I was working and able to keep up with normal household chores for the most part. I sighed heavily again. I sat down listlessly in a chair e and looked into the fire again without really seeing it.

"What's the matter, dear heart?"

I glanced up to see Neil standing by my side. I hadn't heard him leave his laboratory at all. "I don't know really. I guess I was wishing for a sewing machine so I didn't have to stab my fingers so many times. You know for someone who can make neat, tiny stitches during a surgery, you didn't keep up on mending your clothing."

"I guess I had other things on my mind and never got around to it." He grinned at me sheepishly.

"Like now"

A puzzled look fluttered over his face. "What do you mean?"

"I guess I mean I expected to spend more time with you since we're married. Some evenings I hardly see you until I'm ready for bed. I don't mean to take you away from important work. I miss spending time with you. But I think what's really bothering me is I'm just plain bored. When I was teaching there was always something to do or plan and now..."

"You're lost and don't know what to do to find that purpose you once had."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Read my thoughts and feelings so well."

"Well, I am your husband and I guess it's just in my nature. I have to read the emotions in people to get the whole story. People around here aren't always so straight forward. I'm really sorry if it seems that my research takes precedent over you. You know that isn't the truth. I'm still getting used to the idea that I'm not alone anymore. I've been alone for so long now that I find myself slipping into my old hermit like ways." He knelt down in front of me and took my hand in his. "I'll try to cut back on my time researching."

"Don't do that. I want you to find a cure. I would hate it if I took so much time away from your work that a cure went undiscovered."

"I doubt you or I have a say in that, Christy. It is in God's hands, not mine, if a cure is to be found. As for you being bored, let's see, you can always go visiting when we're slow at the clinic. I won't mind. I'm sure Sally would appreciate some help with school opening in a month's time. And what about the adult education classes and the maternity clinic? It's a bit early yet but it couldn't hurt to get ahead start on it." He took my hand and cradled it against his cheek as a dull peal of thunder rumbled, echoing off the mountainsides.

"I'll have to re-read Grundtvig's book again and I'll have to read some of your medical texts for the maternity clinic." The spark of purpose was glowing inside me again.

"Now, let me see that poor abused thumb of yours, dear heart o' mine." I took my hand away from his face and showed him my thumb. He studied it for a moment.

"It doesn't look seriously injured but I think it needs some treatment." He kissed my thumb ever so gently. He let his lips linger in that spot for a few seconds and moved down to the base of my thumb. I shivered as sensual chills raced up and down my spine.

Neil continued kissing my wrist and unbuttoned my sleeve. He stopped for a second and shook his head. "That whole arm looks like it could use some tending to." He rolled my sleeve up past my elbow and began kissing my arm in a teasingly slow manner from the pulse point of my wrist to the bend of my elbow. As he reached the elbow, I left out a shaky sigh. Neil looked up at me, his hazel eyes glowing with an intense light. He smiled at me wickedly.

"Something wrong, love?"

"Just a little dizzy."

"Perhaps you should lie down. Shall I put you to bed?"

"Yes, please do."

Neil rose from the floor and picked me up in his arms like he was pick an heirloom quilt from a blanket chest. He placed me gently on the bed as another low rumble of thunder echoed. No, he hadn't forgotten that he wasn't alone tonight.


End file.
